Weight-loss is a Journey, Not a Destination

You may have noticed that I haven't really been doing my weekly weigh-in blog post. The reason for that is to take some of the focus off my weight-loss journey. There will be ups and downs and I need to make sure that I'm okay with that because I'm in this for life. One of my Twitter friends is also on a weight-loss journey, and yesterday she tweeted that her trainer told her that a newspaper wanted to do a story on her and her weight-loss. Her first reaction was "But I'm still overweight." By uttering those words, she effectively negated all of the progress that she has made. I got her to look at it all from a different perspective by telling her it's not about how much work she has left to do, it's about the work that she's already done. When we have our eyes on the prize, that's the only thing that matters to us. That tunnel-vision stops us from seeing the successes that we've already realized. Weight Watchers encourages its members to celebrate the small victories because eventually they will add up to become large ones. In Sanskrit there's a saying "Pada pada" and it can be loosely translated to mean "Step by step". In life we must take all things step by step.

When I get to my goal weight my life isn't going to magically change. I'll still be the same Michelle, just not as heavy ;-). My goal weight is not my destination. It's a milestone along the journey. Once I reach that milestone, it will be time for me to reassess my path and make any changes that might be necessary. Two weeks ago I lost 3.4lbs, which was great, but of course a bit of hubris came in and the following week I gained. I brought myself back down to earth, got back on plan, and am happy to report that I lost 1.4lbs this week.

A Breakthrough!

Yesterday was my weigh-in day for Weight Watchers. As you may remember from last week, I didn't go to Weight Watchers because I was supposed to get my hair done. That ended up being one of the worst Thursdays I've had in a while. I'm happy to say that I bounced back this week and had a very good Thursday. Bet you're wondering what made it so good, aren't you? I'm trying to decide whether or not I should keep you in suspense for a while ;-). Just kidding! I won't torture you like that. The thing that made my Thursday good is the fact that, after continually gaining a pound or two and losing less than a pound when not gaining, I was down 3.4lbs when I stepped on the scale. That's totally not the result I was expecting. I feel like I ate a lot over the past week. I think the fact that I'm doing more yoga and more walking is what counteracted all of the food I've been eating. It was a nice surprise. I thought my pants felt looser when I put them on yesterday morning, but I wasn't sure whether or not my mind was playing tricks on me, hahaha!!! My goal is to lose again next week. I don't expect to lose another 3lbs because that's not realistic. I'd be happy with just one :-).

You're Kidding, Right?!

As you know, I usually weigh in at Weight Watchers on Thursday, but I had a hair appointment after work. Since the appointment was at 6:00, I would've normally been able to weigh in and then make it to the salon on time. The one glitch in my plan was the fact that I had to take the braids out of my hair. I started taking them out on Wednesday night after workstudy at the yoga studio. It takes a lot of time and there were many small braids, so I didn't finish. I figured I could finish in the morning before I left for my 8:00am doctor's appointment. Got up at 6:15am yesterday morning to continue with braid removal. Got them all done except maybe 15, and had to take a shower. Everyone's water in my apartment building is connected so if I start to take a shower and the guy next door turns on his shower, my hot water turns cold. I did not have time to wait for him to finish his shower so I was like "Screw it. I'm not taking a shower." I was basically still clean from the day before and I sit behind a desk all day so I don't work up a sweat. With that in mind, I work on a couple more of the braids, pack my lunch, get dressed, and head out. When I left the house it was 7:45. It takes at least 20 minutes to get to the subway stop that's near the doctor's office and another 10 to walk there. By the time I get there it's 8:20. I'm there for a physical and the medical assistant is like "I don't think she'll be able to do the full physical, but I'll take you back anyway." Now you and I both know that doctors are late all the time. So she takes me in, takes my blood pressure, asks if I have allergies to any medications, and then weighs me. (On a side note, according to the digital scale she had, I lost weight this week.) A few minutes later the doctor comes in. When she asks me how I'm doing, I tell her I'm fine except for the fact that I was late for my appointment. She looks at me and says "Well the people that work for me are like that (meaning that she knew they had a problem with me being late), but I don't share those feelings. I'm always happy to see your smiling face." No, she's not a native New Englander, hahaha!!! She's a Southerner, like me.

So we got down to the business of her performing my physical and she had me out of there before 9:00. I had to go back out to the waiting area to wait to have some blood drawn. After about 10 minutes or so the tech was ready to take me. After giving away four vials of my blood, I was on my way to work. Because I hadn't finished taking my braids out, I had a lop-sided 'do and I had to buy a wide headband to hold the front of it back. I knew that as soon as my work day was over I'd need to go to the ladies room and finish taking out my braids. About five minutes before 5:00 I headed to the ladies room. I was only able to get five braids done before I needed to leave. Once again I was like "Screw it. Her assistant will have to take out the rest." I stop by 7-Eleven to grab a snack because I know I'll be at the salon for a while and of course I end up getting there late. When I get there, the lights are all off and there's no one there. I texted my hairdresser and said "I know you didn't mean 6:00am." Her response was "No." I proceeded to ask her why everything looked like it was shut down and she was suddenly all apologetic, saying that while the plumbers were there fixing the sink, they broke something else and that everyone's appointments were cancelled. Funny how no one called me. She was like "Didn't you get my text?" Of course I didn't or I wouldn't be standing outside in below freezing temperatures with one glove off texting her. She was like "Maria said she called everyone." The only call I got from Maria was on Wednesday reminding me about my appointment. She was very apologetic, and I told her it was all good.

Normally it wouldn't be a big deal, but I cancelled plans with a friend that I haven't seen in years in order to get my hair done. Also, there have been many times when I've had to wait while she stops in the middle of doing my hair, so that she can do someone else's. This salon is a small operation, but I also had to wait sometimes at the old place, which was larger. I've always been really patient because I had no reason to be in a hurry, so to be totally forgotten like that was a bit of a blow. One of my friends recommended that I find someone else to do my hair. Because I wear my hair in natural styles instead of chemically relaxing it, I'm picky about who I'll let touch my hair. I'll have to do some in-depth research. The only good thing that came out of this is that I was able to finish taking the braids out.

Today I'm walking around with a big, puffy head of hair. I texted my hairdresser this morning and let her know that I had to cancel plans for her to do my hair and that I'll be seeing the person that I cancelled plans with on Monday. I told her that when I see this person I don't want to look like something out of "The Color Purple". Supposedly she can do my hair tonight as long as the sink gets fixed (which it's supposed to). The infamous Maria is supposed to call me to confirm, but it's almost 2:30 and I haven't heard anything. Stay tuned. This could get ugly...

Die, Lying Bastard, Die!

Before you start trying to gather bail money, I have to tell you that I'm not going to kill my lying bastard scale; although I really should. His metaphorical death will come to pass instead of his physical one. I plan to put him away in the storage area in my apartment and forget about him. His grasp has been much too tight over the past year and I decided to pry his bony, taunting fingers from around my ankle. By doing that, I think I'll be able to make progress so that 2012 can be my year. My year to reach my weight-loss goal. My year to transition into a career. My year to treat myself better than ever before.

When I went to my Weight Watchers meeting yesterday, I found that I had gained. It was no big surprise because I ate a lot of junk and got very little exercise. Yesterday's meeting dealt with the things in our life that block us from weight-loss success. Someone mentioned the fact that the reading on their scale is always different from the readings at WW. Because a person's weight can fluctuate throughout the day, WW recommends that members only weigh themselves once a week, preferably on the same day of the week around the same time. That's so that life becomes less scale-centric, drawing the focus to other things. For the first time since I started the program, I'm only going to step on the scale once a week, at my WW meeting.

Take That, Thanksgiving Holiday!

Last Thursday it was Thanksgiving here in the United States. Of course Thanksgiving is a lot like Christmas in that there's lots of food to be eaten on that day, which produces lots of leftovers. It's also usually a time spent with family. Because my family lives out-of-state, I spent Thanksgiving on my own with my cat, Topaz. The great thing about spending Thanksgiving alone when you're on the Weight Watchers plan is that you have complete and total control over the food that enters your orbit. You don't have to worry about someone pushing Grandma's sweet potato pie or Aunt Mary's green bean casserole on you. For the record, it amazes me how French's has single-handedly made green bean casserole an annual Thanksgiving and Christmas tradition.

Well that's neither here nor there. The important thing is that I made my own food that day, following my own timetable. Normally Thanksgiving dinner is served around 1:00 or 2:00 in the afternoon, but I ate dinner during my regular mealtime, which I think helped tremendously. As for leftovers, I only ate them for one meal for the next two days. One day I had them for lunch and then I had them for dinner. Then I skipped a day of leftovers and had the last of my turkey the following day. Today I will be having the last of my baked mac 'n' cheese, which I baked in individual ramekins to facilitate portion control. Thanks to that careful planning and execution, I was down a pound when I weighed in. The fact that I got in a good deal of exercise helped, too. I'm proud of myself for having a loss for the second week in a row. For a while now I've been alternating my weeks with a loss and a gain. Here's hoping I'm starting a new trend! 

Hey There Scale. How You Doin'?

Yesterday was weigh-in day. My bastard scale at home said I was down a little bit, so I figured I could trust it. I could tell by the way that my clothes were fitting that I hadn't gained anything, and if I had, I knew it would be less than a pound.When I got to my meeting after work and stepped on the scale I saw that I had lost the little bit of weight that I put on last week. Not bad considering my cold hasn't gone away yet. Because of that fact I haven't been exercising much. I think I'll try to do a little bit of yoga every day this upcoming week to rinse some of the toxins out of my system.

During every meeting we talk about celebrations and challenges. Of course celebrations are usually scale-related. Someone loses their first five pounds, five or ten percent of their body weight, or they lose that first 10lbs. Last night there was a girl who saw a loss on the scale but felt like she didn't deserve it because she didn't follow the plan to the letter. She said that it had been a stressful week, which caused her to make bad food choices. She said at one point she felt as if the "Weight Watchers gods" were going to strike her down. When she saw the loss on the scale, she felt guilty. Her mentality is definitely a clue that she hasn't be on the plan for very long. I asked her if her food choices were really that bad. She said one of the things she did was eat a lot of chips, directly from the bag. Anyone that knows anything about portion control knows that eating straight from the bag is a no-no, because that means you have no idea how much you ate; and therefore, can't track it. I told her that not every week is going to be her perfect week, and that she needs to stop being afraid of what might go wrong. I also told her that she needs to give herself permission to not be perfect. She can't let that fear rule her or she's going to drive herself crazy.

If you've got something in your life that you're working on or trying to accomplish, just remember that life throws you some curve balls. If you don't knock it out of the park each time, that's okay. You may get a piece of it and hit it into foul territory, or you may even swing and miss. Regardless of what's happens, that was just one day in a long line of days in which you will have an opportunity to do better.

Well Whaddaya Know?

Yesterday was my weigh-in day but I decided to dedicate my blog to a more serious issue. I'm thinking about only blogging about my weigh-in on Fridays so that you can feel the anticipation of the build-up and then receive the instant gratification of knowing how things went.

Yesterday when I stepped on my lying bastard of a scale, it said that I was down. Of course I was hesitant to believe it because he's told me that before and I've been up. One thing I did notice was a change in the way that my pants were fitting, and it was a change for the better.

So after work I went to my meeting, stepped on the scale, and found that I was down. I won't say by how much, but if you read my Twitter timeline, you'll see :-). Yesterday's meeting was a good one. We talked about anchors. In this instance an anchor is an object that you can look at or touch to remind you of something that you're working toward or have accomplished. The leader gave each of us a rubberband to put on our wrists and said that it was our magic weight-loss bracelet. She told us to look at it, touch it, or even snap it when we feel the need to do something that's not going to help us accomplish our goals or maintain the results of the goal that we've accomplished. I am currently wearing mine.

Here's hoping that it does the job, hahaha!!! Regardless, it's nice to have something tactile as a reminder of where I'm headed and what I need to do to get there.

Taking the Advice of a Good Friend

You've all been reading the saga that is my weight-loss and like any other human being, I continue to focus on what I haven't done as opposed to what I have done. A good friend of mine told me that whenever I get discouraged I should look at old pictures of what I used to look like pre-weight-loss. Today when I got to work I printed out two pictures that were taken the summer before I started Weight Watchers. It's always startling to see just how different I look. I keep forgetting how big my belly used to be, compared to how it is now. I also keep forgetting how chunky my face looked. I think the reason why I keep focusing on the negative is because I've been at or around my current weight for a while, so I'm starting to feel like I did before I started my weight-loss journey. For kicks take a look at me three years ago:

Now when I see that, I know that I've come a long way. I'm more than halfway there. I'm actually about two-thirds of the way there. The thing that most people don't realize is that weight-loss is more mental than anything else. Learning to quiet the chatter, or better yet to stop it before it starts is the key to success. Thanks to everyone for their kind words and support. I really appreciate it.

Weight Watchers, Because it Works

That's the new slogan for Weight Watchers that you hear Jennifer Hudson espousing in the commercials. There are lots of critics that keep saying she must've had weight loss surgery and that there's no way she's doing the Weight Watchers program. As someone who knows my area's regional Weight Watchers manager, I know that a person cannot endorse the program unless they've actually done it. Also, if she'd had weight loss surgery, she'd look like an old crone. Rapid weight loss ages you like nothing else ever will.

I've said all of that to give my own example of "because it works". Last week I gained 4.6lbs because of a lovely sweets binge and a complete and total lack of tracking my food intake. After the passage of my 36th birthday and a nice pep talk to myself, I got back on plan. I tracked, ate sweets in moderation, and exercised which resulted in a loss of 3.6lbs. My intake of sweets in moderation included two (count 'em, two) slices of cheesecake on the day after my birthday. So for anyone who was holding on to skepticism about Weight Watchers, take that! Also, I didn't eat a single salad during the past week, so no, you don't need to eat rabbit food to lose weight.

Moment of Truth Day

I'm sure you've all noticed that I haven't posted about my weigh-ins for a while. Frankly I've been annoyed with myself and the lack of progress. What I was doing is regressing. The cardinal rule of Weight Watchers is tracking what you eat and for two or three weeks I had been tracking in a very half-assed way and just stuffing my face. I knew I was going way beyond the points I was allowed, but my rationale was that anything extra could be subtracted from the extra weekly points that I have to work with. As I'm sure you can guess, that went over real well. Last week when I weighed in, I had gained 4.6lbs. Once again I told myself that I was cutting out sweets, so I decided to have a free-for-all before cutting them out completely, hence the large weight gain.

When it comes right down to it, the only one I was fooling is myself (and I wasn't doing a very good job). There's no way that I'm willing to omit sweets from my daily food intake. The way to manage my penchant for tearing into any sweets in the general vicinity is to buy one single serving-sized treat at a time. That's what I did this week, and I think it worked well for me. I can feel that I've lost weight. Also, that bastard scale of mine says I weigh less than I did last Thursday, so here's hoping.

Hmm...

Contrary to what I thought I knew, weigh-in was a success. Not only was it a success, but my untrustworthy scale was correct down to the last tenth of a pound. I know the suspense is killing you, but I'll continue to build the anticipation. My bloated feeling didn't dissipate before I weighed in, so I figured I was doomed. As I stepped on the scale at WW I even said I didn't wanna know the damage. To my surprise there was no damage. I lost 1.4lbs. How did that happen? During the week leading up to weigh-in I had what many might consider a nodding acquaintance with the plan. Regardless, I recorded a loss, and that's the most important part. I'm motivated to recommit to my relationship with the plan :-).

Weigh-in Wednesday

It's that time again. Last week I didn't record my weigh-in via my blog because I figured I'd give you guys a break ;-). Just to update you, I was down 0.6. According to the scale at my house my weight stayed the same over the past week, but as usual, we'll see when I get to the meeting. Today I'm going to duck out of my meeting early and go to the community yoga class that the yoga studio I go to offers. The class is only $7 and I really need to return to my practice. I may start going to Weight Watchers on Thursdays so that I can go to the community yoga class and get the full benefit of a complete meeting.

Results Thursday

I'm happy to report that when I stepped on the scale at Weight Watchers last night I was down 1.5lbs. My "controlled sweets" initiative was successful in its inaugural week. I just need to make sure that I continue with it. If I do, I should be at my goal in a few months. I'm really glad that I decided to pinpoint an area that needs work and actually commit to working on it. You and I both know that it's very easy to say you know some aspect of your life needs work, but to actually get off your duff and do something about it takes strength and motivation. In last night's meeting one of the members announced that she has lost 175lbs. She has been a member of Weight Watchers for 10 years. Some of you may be thinking "It's taken her that long to lose that much weight?" You may find it to be a bit discouraging, but you should turn your thought process around. That length of time says a lot about her dedication and perseverance. Had she not joined Weight Watchers 10 years ago, she might not be here today. If this woman (who is also a person with special needs) can commit herself to a weight-loss program and lose 175lbs in a 10-year period, what's stopping you from committing yourself to losing the 10, 15, or 20lbs you've been wanting to lose?

Weigh-In Wednesday

Week One of "no sweets" is down. I can't say that I had no sweets at all because when I went to the laundromat on Sunday I got some Skittles out of the gumball machine. Maybe I should call it "controlled sweets". Anyway, according to my scale at home I should be down when I go to Weight Watchers after work. After only a week, my craving for sweets has pretty much subsided. The fruit I'm eating tastes almost as sweet as a piece of candy. I bought a whole pineapple last week when I went grocery shopping and it was so delicious. I think that as long as I don't have a bunch of ice cream, cookies, and candy in the house I'll be fine. The controlled approach seems like a good idea. If I really feel like I need something sweet, I can buy a single serving, enjoy it, and move on. Doing that a few times a week, while tracking it, staying on plan, and exercising should work very well.

A Nice Surprise

I had my Weight Watchers weigh-in yesterday, and when I stepped on my scale at home yesterday morning it read the same as it did the previous week. Yesterday after work when I went to my meeting I fully expected the receptionist to say my weight stayed the same. Lo and behold, I was down 1.6lbs! The damage control following my bout with the Skittles and ice cream worked really well. It's only day two of the current plan week, but I'm still on plan. That's actually a big deal because I normally go off the rails right after weigh-in or the day after. So far, so good. Let's see if I can keep it up!

Wiping the Slate Clean

One of the great things about weigh-in day at Weight Watchers is that I get to wipe the slate clean. The fact that I may not have tracked everything that I ate between last Wednesday and yesterday doesn't matter. I now have a chance to do it all over again and get it right this time. Those few handfuls of Skittles that I didn't track on Sunday...a thing of the past. That yummy candy bar ice cream that I overindulged in...now a distant memory.

As I've told you before, my scale at home always says that I'm lighter than reality, so I use it as a gauge of whether I'm up or down. When I stepped on it this morning, it said the same thing that it did last Wednesday morning. Hopefully it's not lying to me :-).

Weigh-in Wednesday

Yesterday was the first dayof summer, and it was absolutely perfect weather. Today? Meh, not so much. It's rainy and gloomy, which makes me wanna go straight home after weigh-in instead of staying for my Weight Watchers meeting. Whether I stay for the meeting or not, here's hoping I lose something, even if it's 0.1lb. I didn't do as well with following the plan as I would've liked, but I did exercise a lot. Cross your fingers for me!

Results Thursday

So last night I weighed in at Weight Watchers for the first time in two weeks. Last week I didn't weigh in because I didn't want to go back out in the potentially treacherous weather. The previous week I didn't go because I was at Hard Rock Cafe listening to my boy Gavin DeGraw perform his new single, as well as a few other ditties. Usually if I'm away for that long I end up gaining a pound or two. You may not believe it, but meetings are a crucial part of the weight loss journey. The support and sense of camaraderie is essential to making progress. If you just go to a meeting to weigh in and you don't actually stay for the meeting itself, you're really missing out. If you're having a tough time, you can look to your fellow members to see how they cope with the same or similar situations. After a two-week hiatus it felt good to be back in the fold.

Yesterday I wrote my scale at home said I had lost a bit, which is true. It was a tiny bit (0.2), but it was a loss nonetheless. More importantly, I think I may have lost an inch or two in various areas because my pants fit a little differently. Not half bad considering I wasn't as "on plan" as I would've like to have been :-). I'll chalk up yesterday's weigh-in in the "victory" column and hope for even better results next week.

Results Thursday

This week's Results Thursday isn't what one might expect. We had some bad weather come through Massachusetts late yesterday afternoon into the evening. There were tornado warnings and watches for pretty much the entire state. I got to leave work about 15 minutes early, so I decided to go home and close the windows in my apartment because I had left them open. Earlier that day there had been a quick moving thunderstorm so I didn't want things to get any wetter than they might already be. I'm sure you're wondering why I left my windows open in the first place. Well, it's been really hot lately, so I leave the windows open for my cat Topaz.

So, I go home after work to close the windows, and when I get there I turn on the Weather Channel. It was just after 5:00 and they were showing footage from Springfield where a tornado touched down. Meanwhile I could see that it was starting to get dark outside and that the wind was picking up. I decided right then and there that I was not going to get on the subway to go to Weight Watchers to weigh in. I figured I'd be much safer staying home.

Luckily, the area where I live only got thunderstorms. I'm very grateful that a tornado didn't touch down near me, but of course that means that you'll have to wait until next week to see if I've lost or gained. Stay tuned :-).

Weigh-In Wednesday

As a member of Weight Watchers I'm required to weigh in every week. My weigh-in day (as you can tell from the title) is Wednesday. Last Wednesday I didn't weigh in because I was at the Hard Rock Cafe seeing my boy Gavin DeGraw perform :-). When I stepped on my scale at home last Wednesday it said my weight stayed the same. This morning when I stepped on it, the scale said I was down just a bit. Of course I'm always lighter on my scale at home than I am on the Weight Watchers scale. I wonder why that is? Anyway, I'm hoping for good news this evening at my weigh-in. From now until I reach my goal I'll be writing a Weigh-In Wednesday blog entry, followed by Results Thursday (which of course will be on Thursday). In the results entry, I will actually tell you how much I gained or lost. Since this is a lifetime commitment for me, I want to get more comfortable with the highs and lows that come with weight-loss and maintaining that loss. I think that two entries per week on that subject will help me do so.

Also, I'm in the process of tweaking this blog. I felt like it needed a change because I've changed a lot since I started it. I know that the new background color makes some of the older entries harder to read so I'll be going through them and changing the color of the font to make it easier. In addition, if any of my readers have a subject that they'd like me to address, feel free to leave a comment and I'll do my best to write something vaguely coherent. Thanks for reading!