A Breakthrough!

Yesterday was my weigh-in day for Weight Watchers. As you may remember from last week, I didn't go to Weight Watchers because I was supposed to get my hair done. That ended up being one of the worst Thursdays I've had in a while. I'm happy to say that I bounced back this week and had a very good Thursday. Bet you're wondering what made it so good, aren't you? I'm trying to decide whether or not I should keep you in suspense for a while ;-). Just kidding! I won't torture you like that. The thing that made my Thursday good is the fact that, after continually gaining a pound or two and losing less than a pound when not gaining, I was down 3.4lbs when I stepped on the scale. That's totally not the result I was expecting. I feel like I ate a lot over the past week. I think the fact that I'm doing more yoga and more walking is what counteracted all of the food I've been eating. It was a nice surprise. I thought my pants felt looser when I put them on yesterday morning, but I wasn't sure whether or not my mind was playing tricks on me, hahaha!!! My goal is to lose again next week. I don't expect to lose another 3lbs because that's not realistic. I'd be happy with just one :-).

Die, Lying Bastard, Die!

Before you start trying to gather bail money, I have to tell you that I'm not going to kill my lying bastard scale; although I really should. His metaphorical death will come to pass instead of his physical one. I plan to put him away in the storage area in my apartment and forget about him. His grasp has been much too tight over the past year and I decided to pry his bony, taunting fingers from around my ankle. By doing that, I think I'll be able to make progress so that 2012 can be my year. My year to reach my weight-loss goal. My year to transition into a career. My year to treat myself better than ever before.

When I went to my Weight Watchers meeting yesterday, I found that I had gained. It was no big surprise because I ate a lot of junk and got very little exercise. Yesterday's meeting dealt with the things in our life that block us from weight-loss success. Someone mentioned the fact that the reading on their scale is always different from the readings at WW. Because a person's weight can fluctuate throughout the day, WW recommends that members only weigh themselves once a week, preferably on the same day of the week around the same time. That's so that life becomes less scale-centric, drawing the focus to other things. For the first time since I started the program, I'm only going to step on the scale once a week, at my WW meeting.

I Was Right

Yesterday I told you that I knew I'd be up when I weighed in and I was right. Oh well, such is life. One thing I will say is that I stayed for the meeting this week and I really enjoyed myself. I got to see a fellow member that I haven't seen since I started attending meetings on Thursday evenings. She's a very sweet lady with special needs who has been a Weight Watcher for 10 years and has lost just over 180lbs. I've mentioned her before in one of my other entries. I need to remember her as a point of reference with regard to this journey. She's living proof that sticking with it pays off :-).

Gettin' Down with My Bad Self

Yesterday's blog entry indicated that my weigh-in should show a loss. There have been times, like last week, when the loss has been a tiny one. I was lucky enough for this week's loss to be not so tiny. I was down 2lbs. Once again I actually think that bastard scale of mine was correct down to the last tenth of a pound. It looks like it's only correct every other week. What's up with that? Regardless, I'm extremely psyched about the loss. Only 14.4 more pounds to go to get to goal :-).

Putting Pen to Paper

From about the age of 13 or so to the age of 28 I kept a journal. Of course it wasn't the same journal for 15 years, but a collection of blank books I filled. Whenever I went to a Hallmark store I'd pick up a new one because I knew it was only a matter of time before I filled one up and would need another. Over the past seven years my journalling has been very sporadic. Yesterday I decided that it was time for me to start committing my thoughts to paper on a regular basis again. I've always been a very introspective person, so I think that this will be very helpful to me with regard to working through my feelings as I continue my weight-loss journey and continue to rebuild my life.

Weigh-in Wednesday

Well last week my intentions were so good with regard to following the plan and tracking my food, but as the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It doesn't matter how good your intentions are if your actions don't produce positive results. That being said, my actions over the past week, with regard to weight-loss, more than likely haven't produced positive results. Last Wednesday evening when I got home after weigh-in, I partook of WAY too many cookies. One day of doing that is fine and can usually be counter-balanced with exercise as long as I stick to the plan for the rest of the week. On Thursday and Friday I ate WAY too much ice cream. What can I say? It tasted so freakin' good! Of course I wasn't physically hungry for all of those cookies and all of that ice cream. They were just a filler for the emotional void that I was feeling on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. You don't go from living with someone for almost five years to just living with your cat again without stumbling while walking along your chosen path. I recognize that, but now I need to do something about it.

Weigh-In Wednesday

Another weigh in day is upon me. At this time last week we were about to be under a tornado warning. Today we're experiencing the beginning of a heatwave. The climate is changing worldwide. Unless the heat is so deadly that I can't remain conscious, I'll be going to weigh in today ;-). According to my scale at home I lost a bit, how much is yet to be determined. Although I didn't eat as well as I could have this week, I got in some really good exercise. Going back to yoga on Monday gave me a much-needed boost in the motivation department. Working through my drop in motivation will help me in the coming years as I'm maintaining my weight loss. I won't always be counting points per se, but I will do my best to stick to the guidelines and habits that I've been utilizing in order to get to this point. Keeping weight off is much harder than losing it, and I wanna try my best not to tip the scale at 220lbs again.

Do You Think Michelle's Getting Too Thin?

Yes, that's a question that one of my acquaintances posed to another acquaintance of mine. In the beginning this person was really gung-ho about my weigth-loss efforts, but now that I'm hovering around my goal, she's not quite as happy for me. In response to the question, Acquaintance #1 replied, "No. Why, are you jealous?" Of course Acquaintance #2 had to backpedal and was like "No, I'm not jealous!" But you know what? She is, or else she wouldn't have brought it up. This woman is 15 years older than me and is married with 2 children. Our lifestyles are completely and totally different, so there's no reason at all for comparisons.

When people, especially certain types of women, are used to you being a certain way, they can't handle it when you make a change. When I was heavier, I'm sure there were some who perceived me as cute, non-threatening, and in no way competition in any regard. Although I've never considered myself ugly, by any stretch of the imagination, I know that lots of women don't want the "fat chick" to start looking better than them. I'll say right now that I'm not competing with anyone for anything. From Day One this has been for and about me. I didn't want to be another statistic. I have a cousin who had two heart attacks before the age of 30. Although she wasn't heavy, she lived an unhealthy lifestyle.

As women we need to celebrate each others' successes and encourage those around us to strive for better things. When something good happens to a woman that I know, I congratulate her. New, flattering haircut or hairstyle? You look fabulous! Lost some weight? Good for you! Keep up the good work! Bought a new car? Girl, that's fantastic! I know that in life we often want the things that other people have. Guess what? If you really want those things, you can have them, too. It's going to take sacrifice, because we live in the real world, not on TV. Once you're able to get it, the sense of achievement is beyond compare. Instead of tearing people down, build them up. Ask them how they were able to accomplish some particular goal that you're interested in. I can almost guarantee that they put in work to get there.

A Weight-Loss Milestone

Those of you that know me or have been following me on Twitter know that I've been on the Weight Watchers Program since early January. For the most part, the journey has been a smooth one, but as I neared the 50lb mark, I started to ease up a bit. I'd fudge on my points when tracking my food or maybe I wouldn't track some of the extra points I ate and chalk it up to having exercised that day so those points would just count against the exercise. Because of the fact that I eased up, I was near the 50lb mark twice, prior to finally reaching it. On my birthday I was 0.2 away and the next week I gained 2lbs. A few weeks later I was 0.4 away and I gained again. Last week I was 0.8 away and decided to really work hard so that I could finally hit 50lbs lost. On Saturday I did an exercise tape that I hadn't done in a long time, but I knew it targeted all of the muscle systems. On Sunday I jogged around the lake. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday are always devoted to the gym, but while I was there I made sure I gave it my all. When I went to my meeting last night, part of me knew that I had hit 50, but part of me was afraid to hope. When I stepped on the scale, there was a sharp intake of breath from my WW leader. That's how I knew I had made it! It was one of the proudest moments of my life. She told me that I was down 2.2lbs, which means I've lost a total of 51.4lbs.

One of the things that WW emphasizes is building healthy habits. Sometimes we're raised with healthy habits and pick up unhealthy ones along the way, but it's never too late to get back on track. I've always been a picky eater and there were certain vegetables that I wouldn't even try, but since I've been doing WW, I'm a bit more open to the food options that are out there. I'm almost at my goal, and once I get there, I'll let everyone know. Until then, to borrow a phrase from the 70's, I'm gonna keep on truckin'!

Only You Know When Something's Right for You

I have a friend that wants to lose weight and has been inspired by my success with Weight Watchers. She's done Weight Watchers before, so she knows it works. Although I've inspired her, I don't think it's enough to get her on the right track yet. In each of our lives there comes a time when we know that we must make a change. Sometimes it takes a while before we act on that knowledge, but we know what needs to be done. As I said before, I knew that I needed to lose weight, but my attempts at doing so were half-assed. We all have an epiphany or "Ah-ha" moment when we realize that the time is now. With weight-loss, it's usually what I refer to as the "pants size epiphany", where you realize that you have to go up another pants size and it's a size you never wanted to be. A lot of people talk about it in my Weight Watchers meetings. I had it when I was wearing a size 16 again for the second time in 33 years. It wasn't healthy and I didn't feel good physically or mentally. I have a history of depression and being overweight didn't help. Now that I'm a little over 30lbs. lighter, I feel much better health-wise and about myself. I keep wondering why it took me so long to get my butt in gear, but then I realize that I wasn't really ready yet. If you have a goal you want to achieve, whether it be weight-loss or continuing your education, when you're ready, you'll take the necessary steps to make it happen. Until then, try not to be too hard on yourself :-).