Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Pressing the Re-set Button

About three weeks ago my Weight Watchers leader had her last meeting with us. This is the second leader I've had leave since I started this journey in January of 2009. This leader is Regional Director for the Northeast Region, so she has to attend a lot of meetings related to her work in that capacity. Unfortunately, the meetings that she's required to attend are in direct conflict with our Wednesday evening WW meeting. Because she felt that we should have the continuity of the same leader every week instead of our regular leader sometimes and then a sub other times, she decided to hand us off to a new leader. Anyway, in that last meeting she talked about pressing the re-set button with regard to the program. After doing WW for a while, it's very easy to get bored, complacent, and off track. A lot of people think that this is a diet that I'm on, but it's actually a way of life for me. If I don't make it a way of life, then there was no point in losing the weight, because it'll come right back. Pressing the re-set button involves getting back on track. Back in April I went off the rails just as I was about to reach my weight-loss goal, and I've been struggling to get back on ever since.

For those of you that don't know, my boyfriend and I broke up about two and a half months ago. Although we're broken up, we still live in the same apartment because we just got the place in April and there's a lease; and because neither of us has the money to move right now. As an emotional eater, it has been hard for me to live with my ex-boyfriend and stay on plan. Two weeks ago when I weighed in, I had gained. I had no idea how I was going to press the re-set button as I saw myself spinning my wheels as my goal got further and further away. Luckily, something happened to break the cycle. Last week, I went to Georgia to spend time with my family. While I was there, I was able to press that re-set button. I didn't binge or overeat, and I didn't feel a need to. During that week, a feeling of peace and relaxation settled over me. I went to WW and weighed in while I was there. When I stepped on the scale, I found that I had lost 2.2lbs. Yeah baby!!!!

Since returning from that trip, I've been able to stay on plan more than I was able to before. I have officially re-set my perspective on my journey and will be seriously working toward my goal again. I have weigh-in again tonight and it feels like I may have lost again, but even if I didn't, the pants I'm wearing are a size smaller than the ones I was wearing three weeks ago, so I'm already victorious!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

September 11, 2001

Everyone has their own experiences regarding September 11, 2001. Right now I'd like to share mine. Just three days prior, on Septermber 8, I moved into a new apartment. I was psyched because this apartment was nicer than my old one and the rent was cheaper. It was also around the corner from one of my good friends from college and in my favorite area of Boston. My first three days in the apartment were spent getting unpacked and settling in. Little did I know that on Day Four the US would be changed forever.

On the morning of September 11 I took the subway to work as I usually did, but while walking to my office I had an overwhelming urge to cry. During this period of my life, my intuition was especially heightened. I got what I called the "death feeling". Whenever I had that feeling, I knew someone was going to die. Normally when I got that feeling, not too long afterward, I'd hear from my mother that a distant relative had died.

Once I got to work I set the feeling aside and got set to settle in for the day. The first person to mention a plane flying into one of the towers was my boss. Of course we all thought it was an accident. But then when the second one hit, we knew something was wrong. An eerie feeling came over the office and no one was really able to get any work done. As we all searched for information online, the towers were burning. It all seemed so surreal.

Little by little information started to trickle in. The planes left from Logan Airport. One crashed into the side of the Pentagon. One crashed in a field in Pennsylvania. Something beyond our comprehension was going on. The governor thinks everyone should leave downtown Boston. Outside is the sound of helicopters and there's chaos as people are trying to decide whether or not they should take the subway. I walked home. On the way I called my mom and then I called one of my good friends. He and I discussed how scary it was. Everyone was stunned and seemed at a loss.

When I got home to my new apartment, I turned on the tv to watch coverage of the attacks. It was everywhere, on every channel. You actually couldn't get away from it. Because the windows of my apartment faced a brick wall, I got very little sunlight. All I can remember is me sitting in a dark apartment, clutching a pillow to my chest, and wondering what was next.

In the days that followed, this country pulled together in a way that I'd never seen in my lifetime. For a while it was almost like the US was one big family. Differences were momentarily set aside so that we could all mourn together and comfort each other. Unfortunately, it seems that we've lost that bond that we built after the events that took place nine years ago. Many said "We will never forget", but they have. They let the trivialities of life get in the way of the fact that it could've been any one of us on those planes. For whatever reason, we're still here. Because of that reason and many others, we need to appreciate ourselves, each other, and everything that we have. The infighting that takes place among the American people is exactly what our enemies want. Don't give them the satisfaction. Pull together again and let them know that we are resilient people. Do it so that those who died as a result of the tragedies of September 11, 2001 will truly never be forgotten. May we find peace individually, peace collectively, and peace universally.
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