Thursday, October 20, 2011

Whatever Happened to Unconditional Love?

From the title you probably think I'm talking about romantic love, but you would be wrong. I'm talking about the love between a mother and her child. Earlier this week my sister-in-law's nephew committed suicide. He was gay, but his own mother refused to accept that fact. Being "different" is hard enough without your mother condemning you for something that you have no control over. I am so grateful that I was blessed with the mother that I have. She's nonjudgemental, but if you ask her for her opinion, she'll give it to you. If Mama sees that you're headed in the wrong direction, she gives you the space to make your mistakes and prays that you see where you're going wrong. Once your chickens have come home to roost, so to speak, she will listen to what you have to say about the lessons you've learned. She will also tell you that the power of prayer helped to get you back on track.

Whenever I hear of a child whose mother doesn't love them with all her heart, it hurts me. I've said that I don't plan on having children of my own, but that doesn't mean that I don't love children. I think I'd be a wonderful parent, but I don't see myself being in a position to take care of another human being anytime soon; especially not one that would be solely dependent on me.

Not one single one of us is perfect. We all have our flaws and foibles. If our mothers can't love us in spite of--or even because of--those flaws and foibles, what do we have left? The young man who took his life felt that he didn't have anything left. He was only 21. His whole life was ahead of him, but because he didn't have the safe and stable base of his mother's unconditional love, his potential will never be realized.

6 comments:

  1. I iz so sorry, how terribul trajik an sad. Teh saddest thing iz nawt hazing teh support an luvs of a fambly - watever form that fambly may taykes. *softpaw*

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  2. That is so sad. My peeps love me even being the feral cat I am. We know so many people who wouldn't tell their parents they're gay or their parents wouldn't accept it.

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  3. The suicide rate among gay teens is very high. I don't talk about this on twitter, but my adopted son is gay. He came out at age 13 to us, it made no difference at all. He came out at school at age 15. He has endured bullying and death threats. Not once has he backed down or shown fear to those who harrass him. He is so very brave and we are so very proud of him. He carries himself with dignity and has high moral standards. He dates rarely but that is because he demands respect from a partner. They either respect him or they hit the road. We are very close and he tells me everything. I love him to pieces. His name is Zach.

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  4. Anne, the more I learn about you, the more I like you. You know what it truly means to be a mother. I'm so glad that Zach has your love and support.

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  5. Oh Michelle - that is so very sad. Yes, a mother should love unconditionally. I have a friend going through that very same thing now with her granddaughter (whom she raised). Being a very religious person, it's hard for her to accept the gay/lesbian lifestyle. But she's doing her best and trying very hard at keeping her mouth shut so to speak. Your own mother sounds like a very wise and loving mother. You are blessed dear friend.

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  6. I know that if nothing else follows me after my death it will be my deepabiding 100% love for my three sons. I love them so very much from the second I knew they were "in there" till this second in time. It's a privelege and an honor to be a mother and to these three..oh I express my gratitude each and every day to the Lord who made them possible. I can't imagine not loving my children.

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