My Solitary Existence

Pretty much from birth I've lead a very solitary life. My escape from solitude has invariably involved books of fiction, filled with stories of redemption for those characters who seemed to be on a slow road to nowhere. My tendency toward solitude is not readily visible to the untrained eye. Yes, I'm nice; friendly; happy; giving; helpful; etc., but the world around me is kept at a respectful distance. You would be hard-pressed to find someone who's not a member of my family who would be able to say that they know me well. Teetering on the precipice of my 36th birthday (September 24, write it down ;-)), I see myself as a lone figure looking into the distance. Currently there's a cat by my side, but I know that someday she'll be gone and it'll be just me...again...My lack of interest in getting married and having a family puts me in a corner that isn't inhabited by very many of the people that I know. I'm a believer that true love can exist outside the constraints of marriage, but after almost five years of being with someone that I knew in my heart I didn't belong with, I'm not sure if I can trust my judgement in that regard. I'll be perfectly fine if another opportunity for love doesn't present itself, but the financial drain that the last opportunity caused for me is putting a severe crimp in my ability to go out and have fun like I used to. I've spent the majority of the past year playing catch-up. I know that at some point this situation will right itself, but until then my life of solitude feels more like a prison than a conscious choice.

Results Thursday

I'm happy to report that when I stepped on the scale at Weight Watchers last night I was down 1.5lbs. My "controlled sweets" initiative was successful in its inaugural week. I just need to make sure that I continue with it. If I do, I should be at my goal in a few months. I'm really glad that I decided to pinpoint an area that needs work and actually commit to working on it. You and I both know that it's very easy to say you know some aspect of your life needs work, but to actually get off your duff and do something about it takes strength and motivation. In last night's meeting one of the members announced that she has lost 175lbs. She has been a member of Weight Watchers for 10 years. Some of you may be thinking "It's taken her that long to lose that much weight?" You may find it to be a bit discouraging, but you should turn your thought process around. That length of time says a lot about her dedication and perseverance. Had she not joined Weight Watchers 10 years ago, she might not be here today. If this woman (who is also a person with special needs) can commit herself to a weight-loss program and lose 175lbs in a 10-year period, what's stopping you from committing yourself to losing the 10, 15, or 20lbs you've been wanting to lose?

Weigh-In Wednesday

Week One of "no sweets" is down. I can't say that I had no sweets at all because when I went to the laundromat on Sunday I got some Skittles out of the gumball machine. Maybe I should call it "controlled sweets". Anyway, according to my scale at home I should be down when I go to Weight Watchers after work. After only a week, my craving for sweets has pretty much subsided. The fruit I'm eating tastes almost as sweet as a piece of candy. I bought a whole pineapple last week when I went grocery shopping and it was so delicious. I think that as long as I don't have a bunch of ice cream, cookies, and candy in the house I'll be fine. The controlled approach seems like a good idea. If I really feel like I need something sweet, I can buy a single serving, enjoy it, and move on. Doing that a few times a week, while tracking it, staying on plan, and exercising should work very well.

Yep, I Gained

I told you yesterday that I expected to gain because I had my "Farewell to Sweets" fest last week, and I was right. I was up 2.6lbs. When you think about it, that's actually not too bad considering how much I love sweets ;-). After the gym tonight I'll be going grocery shopping and picking up lots and lots of fresh fruit. A nice piece of sweet fruit is almost as good as, if not better than, candy.

Weigh-in Wednesday

Last weigh-in was a good one because I nipped my sweets overload in the bud and made food choices to compensate for it. Every week me and the sweets have a bit of a shaky truce that can be broken at any time. Well this past week I decided to say farewell to the sweets until my birthday, which is a little over two months away. What that entailed was having whatever sweets I wanted whenever I wanted them. Although I wasn't sitting around every night with a huge pile of goodies, stuffing my face, I did pick up some things here and there that I really like. Because I didn't do anything to compensate for my sweets-apalooza, I know that I gained this week and I'm fine with that. I think putting them aside for a while will help me in the long run. I used to be someone who loved fast food, especially French fries, but right now I can't actually remember the last time I had fast food and I don't feel deprived. Hopefully that's what will happen with regard to my love of all things sugary. Wish me luck!

A Nice Surprise

I had my Weight Watchers weigh-in yesterday, and when I stepped on my scale at home yesterday morning it read the same as it did the previous week. Yesterday after work when I went to my meeting I fully expected the receptionist to say my weight stayed the same. Lo and behold, I was down 1.6lbs! The damage control following my bout with the Skittles and ice cream worked really well. It's only day two of the current plan week, but I'm still on plan. That's actually a big deal because I normally go off the rails right after weigh-in or the day after. So far, so good. Let's see if I can keep it up!

Wiping the Slate Clean

One of the great things about weigh-in day at Weight Watchers is that I get to wipe the slate clean. The fact that I may not have tracked everything that I ate between last Wednesday and yesterday doesn't matter. I now have a chance to do it all over again and get it right this time. Those few handfuls of Skittles that I didn't track on Sunday...a thing of the past. That yummy candy bar ice cream that I overindulged in...now a distant memory.

As I've told you before, my scale at home always says that I'm lighter than reality, so I use it as a gauge of whether I'm up or down. When I stepped on it this morning, it said the same thing that it did last Wednesday morning. Hopefully it's not lying to me :-).