As you know from my short bio, I'm a HUGE fan of Gavin DeGraw. It's been over 2 years since I've seen him live and I miss him very, very much. Fellow fans know that his down-to-earth nature makes you feel like you're spending time with an old friend when you go to a show. Lucky for us he's got a new album coming out August 9 called Sweeter. Below you can listen to the heartfelt single Not over You:
http://youtu.be/EQDc3bhGQP8
This collaboration with Ryan Tedder of OneRepublic is already a hit with diehard fans, and should be a hit with anyone who loves the sound of good music. We love you Gavin, and we can't wait to hear the whole album!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
The Evolution (or Devolution, More Like) of Marriage
Last week I was tweeting with one of my friends about marriage. It's nowhere on her radar screen and she's okay with that. She's from Norway, and it's culturally acceptable there to not care about marriage at all. Here in the United States, it's the end all be all of every relationship. Been seeing a guy for a year? Time to start thinking about when he might propose...Those of you who know me well, know that marriage is something that I can take or leave. If I get married, that's cool; and if I don't, that's cool, too. I can already hear the voices in the background murmurring, "What about kids? Doesn't she want kids?" As we all know, you don't have to be married to have a baby. You also don't need to be at the age of consent. I'm not someone who advocates teen pregnancy or having children out of wedlock, but I am someone who knows the ritual of giving birth isn't something I need to partake in
for my life to feel complete.
I was in a serious relatinship for almost five years and within a year of us being together, my boyfriend had already picked out our wedding date, 10/20/2010. He liked the fact that the numbers were a palindrome and he also liked the fact that it would fall on our fifth anniversary. Well folks, we never made it to that fifth anniversary. We broke up about three months before it. Although he had some baggage that he needed to take care of before it was even possible for us to marry, that date loomed large in my future. He was constantly bringing it up, like it was some kind of deadline. A deadline for what? Every marriage that I've had first-hand experience with is one that either: A. should've never happened, or B. should've been dissolved long ago. As for the ones that I've only had a minor brush with, it seems that marriage is very rarely taken seriously. Vows are just words to be spoken in a ceremony that officially says "We're married". Divorce is used as an easy out because nowadays people either get married for the wrong reasons or they don't think it through, which is almost the same thing. The concept of the "starter husband or starter wife" (the same, in concept, as the starter home) has become popular. I know the images of marriage in the 50s and 60s were a sham. There wasn't much for a woman to do but get married and have babies. Any woman that wasn't married by a certain age was considered an old maid. If word got out that a woman had sex out of wedlock, she was considered damaged goods. In no way would I ever want to revert back to that time in history.
Although attitudes have changed in the 21st century, there is still a bit of a stigma to being unmarried. It's more prevalent in some regions of the United States than it is in others. I grew up in the South, so, many times when I've been down for a visit I've been asked when I'm getting married; or people assume that I already am. It's almost as if that should be the defining characteristic of my life. The changing of the times hasn't made most couples any happier in their marriages than their parents or grandparents were. Adultery continues to run rampant. Children are born into toxic households. Work takes precedence over everything. Most wives are expected to go to work outisde the home and still keep house like they've been at home all day. Yep, that's exactly what I wanna sign up for.
Another thing that I struggle with is the whole name-change thing. I actually like being Michelle Stringer. I think it's a great name and it's symmetrical: eight letters in my first name and eight letters in my last name. I have a thing about symmetry. It may have to do with my being a Libra and constantly striving to maintain balance. There are men out there that don't have a problem with their wives keeping their maiden names, but I didn't happen to be in a relationship with one. I may have been persuaded to re-think my stance on changing my last name if his had been a bit more interesting. It wasn't...It was Smith...No disrepect to those of you with the last name Smith. If that's the last name I had been born with, I wouldn't have a problem with it.
As you may have already figured out, I'm an independent woman and very much of an independent thinker. I just wanna be free to be me. The constraints of the average marriage would stifle that. If I could find someone who doesn't mind that all of my official documents will say Michelle Stringer for as long as I live, and doesn't have a problem with me not birthing his babies then we can talk, hahaha!!!!
for my life to feel complete.
I was in a serious relatinship for almost five years and within a year of us being together, my boyfriend had already picked out our wedding date, 10/20/2010. He liked the fact that the numbers were a palindrome and he also liked the fact that it would fall on our fifth anniversary. Well folks, we never made it to that fifth anniversary. We broke up about three months before it. Although he had some baggage that he needed to take care of before it was even possible for us to marry, that date loomed large in my future. He was constantly bringing it up, like it was some kind of deadline. A deadline for what? Every marriage that I've had first-hand experience with is one that either: A. should've never happened, or B. should've been dissolved long ago. As for the ones that I've only had a minor brush with, it seems that marriage is very rarely taken seriously. Vows are just words to be spoken in a ceremony that officially says "We're married". Divorce is used as an easy out because nowadays people either get married for the wrong reasons or they don't think it through, which is almost the same thing. The concept of the "starter husband or starter wife" (the same, in concept, as the starter home) has become popular. I know the images of marriage in the 50s and 60s were a sham. There wasn't much for a woman to do but get married and have babies. Any woman that wasn't married by a certain age was considered an old maid. If word got out that a woman had sex out of wedlock, she was considered damaged goods. In no way would I ever want to revert back to that time in history.
Although attitudes have changed in the 21st century, there is still a bit of a stigma to being unmarried. It's more prevalent in some regions of the United States than it is in others. I grew up in the South, so, many times when I've been down for a visit I've been asked when I'm getting married; or people assume that I already am. It's almost as if that should be the defining characteristic of my life. The changing of the times hasn't made most couples any happier in their marriages than their parents or grandparents were. Adultery continues to run rampant. Children are born into toxic households. Work takes precedence over everything. Most wives are expected to go to work outisde the home and still keep house like they've been at home all day. Yep, that's exactly what I wanna sign up for.
Another thing that I struggle with is the whole name-change thing. I actually like being Michelle Stringer. I think it's a great name and it's symmetrical: eight letters in my first name and eight letters in my last name. I have a thing about symmetry. It may have to do with my being a Libra and constantly striving to maintain balance. There are men out there that don't have a problem with their wives keeping their maiden names, but I didn't happen to be in a relationship with one. I may have been persuaded to re-think my stance on changing my last name if his had been a bit more interesting. It wasn't...It was Smith...No disrepect to those of you with the last name Smith. If that's the last name I had been born with, I wouldn't have a problem with it.
As you may have already figured out, I'm an independent woman and very much of an independent thinker. I just wanna be free to be me. The constraints of the average marriage would stifle that. If I could find someone who doesn't mind that all of my official documents will say Michelle Stringer for as long as I live, and doesn't have a problem with me not birthing his babies then we can talk, hahaha!!!!
Friday, February 25, 2011
10 Things You Might Not Know about Me
Most of the peeps that read my blog haven't known me for very long, so I figured I'd give you a few facts that people who've known me for most of my life already know:
1. I'm left-handed. This comes with a caveat because I really only use my left hand for writing and holding eating utensils.
2. I'm a middle child. I have an older brother and a younger brother, which makes me the family peacemaker. The fact that I'm a Libra also contributes to my peacemaking.
3. I was born on my parents' eighth wedding anniversary. Quite a gift, huh? I was also born exactly three weeks before my mom's birthday.
4. Uttering the words "I dare you" to me will only get you a derisive stare and possibly the finger. Some people can't resist a dare, but I'm 35, not 5.
5. I believe the phrase "It is what it is" should be stricken from the verbal lexicon. Of course it is what it is. How can it be anything else other than what it is?
6. I don't drink. Alcohol and I have never been friends for many reasons, not the least of which is a potential adverse reaction when mixed with my meds.
7. I used to weigh 220lbs. Yes, I did just type my former weight. Thanks to Weight Watchers, I'm 50lbs lighter. My magic number is 60lbs.
8. I don't want to have children. That means that I don't have a desire to be pregnant or birth babies. That doesn't mean that I'm not open to someday adopting an older child or two.
9. I won my county's spelling bee when I was 14. Yep, I'm a spelling geek. I'm a grammar geek, too.
10. I don't like coffee. We live in a very coffee-centric culture, what with there being a Starbucks on every corner. No amount of flavoring, sweetener, or creamer can mask the bitterness of coffee for me. I get my caffeine fix from Diet Dr. Pepper ;-).
1. I'm left-handed. This comes with a caveat because I really only use my left hand for writing and holding eating utensils.
2. I'm a middle child. I have an older brother and a younger brother, which makes me the family peacemaker. The fact that I'm a Libra also contributes to my peacemaking.
3. I was born on my parents' eighth wedding anniversary. Quite a gift, huh? I was also born exactly three weeks before my mom's birthday.
4. Uttering the words "I dare you" to me will only get you a derisive stare and possibly the finger. Some people can't resist a dare, but I'm 35, not 5.
5. I believe the phrase "It is what it is" should be stricken from the verbal lexicon. Of course it is what it is. How can it be anything else other than what it is?
6. I don't drink. Alcohol and I have never been friends for many reasons, not the least of which is a potential adverse reaction when mixed with my meds.
7. I used to weigh 220lbs. Yes, I did just type my former weight. Thanks to Weight Watchers, I'm 50lbs lighter. My magic number is 60lbs.
8. I don't want to have children. That means that I don't have a desire to be pregnant or birth babies. That doesn't mean that I'm not open to someday adopting an older child or two.
9. I won my county's spelling bee when I was 14. Yep, I'm a spelling geek. I'm a grammar geek, too.
10. I don't like coffee. We live in a very coffee-centric culture, what with there being a Starbucks on every corner. No amount of flavoring, sweetener, or creamer can mask the bitterness of coffee for me. I get my caffeine fix from Diet Dr. Pepper ;-).
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day!
Today is that Hallmark Holiday designed for lovers. Many a marriage proposal and many a wedding have happened on this day through the years. Those who are in a relationship feel all warm and fuzzy inside wondering what types of surprises they'll receive from their beloveds. Those who aren't in a relationship are either cursing this day, boycotting this day, or embracing it as just one more day when they've been afforded the opportunity to enjoy the beauty all around them. As someone who is not in a relationship, I am embracing this day as one where I'm happy, healthy, and loved by my family and friends. More importantly, I love myself. Tonight, instead of moping around because I don't have a date for Valentine's Day, I'm going to the gym and then I'm going to the movies to see one of my all-time favorites, Sixteen Candles. AMC Theatres is showing it on the big screen tonight at 7:00. I was just a little girl when that movie was released and back then I believed in that fairy tale kind of love that Samantha wanted with Jake. Over the years, whenever I watch it I still think to myself that I'd love for my crush to like me, too. But you know what? That is only a movie, after all, based on every teen girl's fantasies. Instead of sitting around waiting for my Jake Ryan, I'll continue to enjoy the things in this world that make me happy; like good movies, good music, good books, and good friends.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Could This Be My Year?
I'd like to begin my blogging for 2011 with a bit of optimism. We're eight days into February and I'm in the process of making my life better. As many of you know 2010 was not a good year for me. My grandmother passed away. I had to move yet again, and then three months into the new lease my boyfriend broke up with me. There were a few other things that happened too, but I won't bore you with the gory details. My weight-loss journey continues, but as of late I've been gaining and losing the same two or three pounds. I actually figure that's not too bad for someone who is an emotional eater and has had to deal with quite a bit of upheaval. I'm proud of the fact that I haven't let myself go and fallen back into old, self-destructive habits.
As I continue to take back control of my life, I'll be moving into a new apartment next month. It's a cute place that's very convenient with regard to getting to work via public transportation. No more waiting in the snow for the bus to come. All I have to do is walk across the street to the subway station. I already have all sorts of ideas for making it a home for me and Topaz.
After I'm settled in, it'll be time to finish up my classes for my copyediting certificate. I'm hoping to do some freelance work in that arena to earn some extra cash. Hopefully by the time spring rolls around I'll be able to meet my weight loss goal and become a Weight Watchers leader. It would bring me a great deal of joy to assist others on their journey and to let them know that although it's not easy, it is worthwhile. Maybe, just maybe by focusing on those things, I can make 2011 my year!
As I continue to take back control of my life, I'll be moving into a new apartment next month. It's a cute place that's very convenient with regard to getting to work via public transportation. No more waiting in the snow for the bus to come. All I have to do is walk across the street to the subway station. I already have all sorts of ideas for making it a home for me and Topaz.
After I'm settled in, it'll be time to finish up my classes for my copyediting certificate. I'm hoping to do some freelance work in that arena to earn some extra cash. Hopefully by the time spring rolls around I'll be able to meet my weight loss goal and become a Weight Watchers leader. It would bring me a great deal of joy to assist others on their journey and to let them know that although it's not easy, it is worthwhile. Maybe, just maybe by focusing on those things, I can make 2011 my year!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Open Letter to the Universe
Dear Universe,
I know that there's a lot of chaos going on out there, a great deal of which has been created by us humans. In my own little corner of the world I'm working to alleviate my contributions to the chaos all around me. I'm letting go of the negative people and energy that have been a constant in my life for too long. I'm also opening myself up so that you know that I'm willing to accept what you have to offer. If what you have to offer is less than desirable, but will benefit me in the long-run, I will accept it in the spirit in which it was given. I know that one of your main purposes is to facilitate my growth as a person. If it's something less than desirable and will only harm me in the long-run, I hope that the life lessons that you have taught me will help me to recognize that which is harmful and to walk away from it. In the past, you placed roadblocks all along some of the paths that I had chosen. Some of those roadblocks were to test my inner strength, but some of them were to test my sense of self. Having a distorted sense of self can have severe consequences. It manifests itself in not knowing your worth as a person, and makes it hard for you to speak your truth. Since I finally found the courage to start speaking my truth again, there are some people who say they don't recognize me, but those who know me deep down know that I have returned to a state of being that honors me as the strong, intelligent woman that I am. If someone doesn't like how I'm living my life then they don't have to be a part of it. It's just as simple as that. Thank you, Universe, for bringing me to where I am at this moment.
I know that there's a lot of chaos going on out there, a great deal of which has been created by us humans. In my own little corner of the world I'm working to alleviate my contributions to the chaos all around me. I'm letting go of the negative people and energy that have been a constant in my life for too long. I'm also opening myself up so that you know that I'm willing to accept what you have to offer. If what you have to offer is less than desirable, but will benefit me in the long-run, I will accept it in the spirit in which it was given. I know that one of your main purposes is to facilitate my growth as a person. If it's something less than desirable and will only harm me in the long-run, I hope that the life lessons that you have taught me will help me to recognize that which is harmful and to walk away from it. In the past, you placed roadblocks all along some of the paths that I had chosen. Some of those roadblocks were to test my inner strength, but some of them were to test my sense of self. Having a distorted sense of self can have severe consequences. It manifests itself in not knowing your worth as a person, and makes it hard for you to speak your truth. Since I finally found the courage to start speaking my truth again, there are some people who say they don't recognize me, but those who know me deep down know that I have returned to a state of being that honors me as the strong, intelligent woman that I am. If someone doesn't like how I'm living my life then they don't have to be a part of it. It's just as simple as that. Thank you, Universe, for bringing me to where I am at this moment.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Giving Thanks
Tomorrow will be a time for us here in the United States to give thanks while spending time with our friends and family, feasting on good food. Those of you who follow my blog know that the past 4 months or so have been a bit rough for me. While making my way out of the darkness that was created by those rough times, I feel that I've had a spiritual awakening. Things aren't as good as they could be, but they're a whole helluva lot better than they would be had I continued on the same path. This spiritual awakening that I speak of has filled my heart to bursting with love, joy, and compassion for those around me. We're all in this life together, so why not leave good feelings and good vibes wherever we go? There are some people who are so far down that they think they'll never get back up again, but they're wrong. No matter how far down you get, with a bit of encouragement you can always pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again. You really don't wanna know how many times I've had to do just that. If I told you, you'd wonder how I got out of bed in the morning. (Guess what? Some days I didn't.) If your life has taken a downturn, know that it won't last forever. Think of it in terms of the law of averages. Everything always averages out to be 50/50. Flip a coin 100 times, and the law of averages dictates that 50 times it'll come up heads and 50 times it'll come up tails. That may not truly be exact, but that just tells you that things will never go one way all the time. Life has its peaks and valleys, so if you're down in the valley, it's only a matter of time before you climb to the top of the peak. Be thankful that you get to experience those peaks and valleys. They shape who you are as a person, and let you know how strong you are. If you don't try to get to that next peak, what are you doing with your life? Nothing, but sitting around, waiting to die.
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