Consumed by Anger and Bitterness

Have you ever noticed how many people around you look truly miserable? I jog around a lake near my apartment, and one day when I was walking back home, I saw one of my friends that lives nearby. She told me that there's a wooded trail where she likes to walk because she doesn't like the lake. When I asked her why, she said that the people at the lake were mean. There are lots of people that walk, jog, and bike around the lake. For me it's a relaxing experience that can sometimes help me clear my head. I would think that others would feel the same way, but most of the people I see during the time that I'm walking or jogging look pretty grim. You can almost feel the bitterness emanating from them.

I know that life is damn hard and that it can thrown many a curveball, but it would be easier to deal with those curveballs if one could just let go of the anger and the bitterness. Got a co-worker that you absolutely can't stand? Associate with them as little as possible. If you have to work with them on a project, try your best to maintain a professional demeanor. Got a friend who's either a user or a liar? Once again, limit your time with them. Also, branch out to find new friends and new activities. Have a child, old or young, that continually makes mistakes or gets into trouble? With the older kids, you may have to wash your hands of the situation and let them try to make it on their own. Take comfort in the fact that you raised them the best that you could and that everything works out the way it's supposed to. As for younger kids, you still have a chance to try to steer them in the right direction. If what you're doing isn't working, then try a new approach. Also, remember that mistakes are also learning experiences.

Those are just a few examples of the things in life that can make us feel miserable. If you are dealing with something that's not on this list, just remember that only you can make you happy. You know what it is that you want and need. Lots of times fear holds us back from reaching toward our goals. Rarely do things ever fall into place the first time out of the box, so don't be discouraged. It may take one more attempt or it make take 100 more attempts. No matter how long it takes, persistence does pay off.

When Your World Stops Turning

Last night I found out some very sad news. Someone that I grew up with in Georgia, that I had known since I was 5-years old passed away. I'll be 34 in 22 days. This is not supposed to be happening. There are so many people in this world that are positively evil and they get to live nice, long lives. Granted, some of them are in prison, but still they've lived to see another day. My friend, who was genuinely a good person will never wake up in her own bed again, wondering what the day has to offer. She'll never get to eat her favorite foods and watch her favorite TV shows. I know that there's supposed to be another existence far superior to the one that we lead here on Earth, but damnit, she had a lot more living to do! She was the only person that I've been in contact with during recent years that saw me in all of the stages of my early development. Elementary, middle, and high school we knew each other. We hung out. We talked. We did things together. Up until about 5 years ago, I hadn't seen her since we graduated from high school, but then a mutual friend brought us together again. I knew she was sick, but I had no idea how bad it had gotten. She's the 5th person from my high school graduating class that has passed away (at least as far as I know), and I've only been out of high school for 15 years. Something like this makes me face my own mortality, but it also makes me wonder who chooses which people live to see another day and which end up dying young. What is it based on? I know some people who should've been dead long ago, but they're still here causing misery and heartache. It seems that many who could do a lot of good in this world leave it too soon. This is something that I know I'll never understand, but it won't stop me from wondering. Those of you who are religious will say that this is the way that things were meant to be. Although I'm not particularly religious, I am spiritual, and I know that things have their own reasons for happening. That still doesn't change the fact that I'm sad that Amy is gone. She went through some tough times and I'm glad she doesn't have to deal with them anymore, but I can't help questioning it all as my world stops turning for a brief moment in contemplation of what was and what will never be. Rest in Peace, Amy. I thoroughly enjoyed our time together.