Protect Your Peace

As many of you know, I'm currently in training to become a yoga teacher. Every Tuesday night I go to a three-hour class where we discuss and practice poses, as well as discussing the philosophy of yoga. The philosophy is set out in what is known as the yoga sutras. One of the sutras last night included the words "protect your peace", meaning to protect your inner peace and well-being. We often let other people disturb the peacefulness that we are sometimes able to find within ourselves. For example, you're outside enjoying a gorgeous, sunny day. As you start to cross the street (at the crosswalk), a driver comes speeding by and doesn't even slow down. You jump back so as not to get run over, and your right arm automatically flies up and your middle finger makes an apprearance. That careless driver just disturbed your peace. The beauty of the day is now lost on you because of the anger you feel at someone you don't even know. You just gave that stranger a lot of power.

Another way that your peace can be disturbed is by fostering an imbalance in your relationships. You know there are things you need to do for yourself in order to maintain your own well-being, but whenever you try to do those things, your friend or mate approaches you with a request. Because selflessness may be a part of your nature, you defer your own needs in order to meet the needs of others. By doing that, you're letting your friends and loved ones disturb your peace. What's the point of you making all of those people happy or satisfying their needs when your own needs go unmet? If your needs continue to go unmet, resentment starts to build in your heart. From that resentment arises anger, apathy, depression, and a whole host of other negative emotions. This becomes the perfect set-up for the severing of ties with the ones that you care about. At the time it will make perfect sense for you to walk away from them, but when you look back on it later, you'll wonder how you let it get to that point. Protect your peace so that you can live a happy and fulfilling life. When you feel that peace being disturbed, quiet that disturbance with the knowledge that you have the power to bring yourself right back to that place of peace and that only you can determine whether or not someone else will disturb it.

Finding My Way Back to the Mat

Last night I went to yoga class for the first time in months. I've been telling myself week after week that I'll go, but when push came to shove, I would punk out and find some excuse for not going. Yesterday I realized that I finally needed to cut the bullshit and just do it. I've been feeling uncentered and I know that when I practiced yoga regularly I felt much more relaxed and open. To say that the instructor was glad to see me is an understatement. Her first words were "Is it really you?!" Followed by "Can I pinch you?!" Yeah, I've been gone for that long, hahaha!!!!

Anyway, as soon as we got started my body just automatically popped right back into place. I couldn't hold plank for as long as I would've liked, and downward facing dog was killing my triceps, but all in all I did very well. That same instructor teaches a class on Saturdays, too, so hopefully I can get off my duff and go practice with her this weekend :-).

I Thought I Would Miss You More

We spent five years of our lives together. There were ups and downs. There were good times and bad. The day that you chose to end it, I was shocked. I know that what we had wasn't perfect, but I believed in us. Even after it was "offically" over, we were able to maintain a bond. Little did I know that this bond would make you think you had the right to dictate to me how I should live my life. When I finally stepped out of the neat little box that you had put me in, you went berserk. "How could you...?" "What gives you the right to...?" "You're nothing but a...!" The hateful words that flew from your mouth like projectile vomit washed over me, trying to drown me. Instead of thinking rationally, you lashed out. Your mission: to cause me as much pain as you feel I caused you. I knew you were hurting and tried to wait it out. Whenever I tried to reason with you, you shot me down. All of a sudden you questioned the past and every move I ever made. You let your paranoia get the best of you and made me out to be evil incarnate. After all of that, I still had sympathy for you. I know it was hard for you to see me moving on, but there was one action that dried up the last vestiges of my sympathy. Upon finding out how low you could sink, it's like the memories of times past magically disappeared. Those that know me know that I feel things very deeply. When someone hurts me, it cuts right to my very soul. Maybe the universe is trying to shield me from more pain by bringing me to a state of inner calm and peace. Now that you're gone, I honestly thought that I'd miss you more. Apparently the loss of your negative energy brought me to a place of acceptance.

He's Still Shining On

I was 5 years old when John Lennon was assassinated. I distinctly remember hearing the news about it on the TV. At the time I didn't really know who The Beatles were, and little did I know what influence they and John would have on my life 10 years later.

When I was 15 I saw a documentary on public television about the making of Sgt. Pepper. I distinctly remember George Martin at a soundboard talking about all of the arrangements and instrumentation. I was fascinated, so when I got the chance, I went out and bought Sgt. Pepper on cassette. This was 1990 folks. I didn't have a CD player yet! Anyway, I constantly listened to Sgt. Pepper, my favorite song being A Day in the Life. As I listened to the music I became more and more absorbed in The Beatles and wanted to learn all that I could about them. My junior year in high school I did a research paper comparing and contrasting Sgt. Pepper and Magical Mystery Tour. See, I had it bad! By that time I had Magical Mystery Tour, Abbey Road, Rubber Soul, and Revolver on cassette.

Although all the guys are great, there was just something about John that called out to me. Maybe it was his troubled childhood or his sharp, cutting wit. Whatever it was, John became my favorite Beatle. When I see his artwork and read his poetry, the depth of his creative mind astounds me! Wrapped up in that creativity was a very loving soul. So loving that he thought nothing of signing an autograph for the man that would end up taking his life mere hours after the autograph was signed.

I was never truly able to understand the world's loss of John Lennon until I was older. He was that rare combination of genius, vulnerability, humanitarianism, and sincerity that's hard to match. There are many who have come after him who are similar in many regards, but they will never be able to catch the lightning in a bottle that was the essence of John Lennon. He greeted the world with an open heart and the world keeps him in theirs. As you rest in peace, John Winston Ono Lennon, know that your messages of love, peace, and togetherness shine on, just as you do. Your fans will love you forever!