Goodbye 35

Tomorrow is my 36th birthday. Each year around this time I evaluate my life to see where I am compared to where I want to be. I used to do it because I thought it was helpful with regard to motivating me to meet my goals, but I think it's become more of an albatross around my neck. This self-evaluation may be starting to overshadow my accomplishments. As human beings we spend a lot of time focusing on what we haven't done, without congratulating ourselves on what we have done. Over the past year, I've kept off a significant amount of weight. I haven't lost all that I want to lose (which I had hoped to do by now), but what I've done so far is nothing to sneeze at. I am still gainfully employed despite the fact that the economy is in the toilet and I spent almost five years of my life with one of the most apathetic men in the world. I'd much rather be doing a different job, and had planned on doing a different one by now, but all things in good time.

A while back I renamed this blog The Best Me That I Can Be. The only way I can be the best me is to recognize my accomplishments and appreciate them. I don't need to compare myself to anyone else because we all started our lives with different foundations, and over the years have been given different building blocks. I've tried to build on what I knew was unstable ground in the hopes that one day it might become stable. If it's weak or doesn't hold what I need it to hold without buckling, I should tear everything down and find steady ground. The past year has made me realize that the steadiest ground is within myself.