Growing Up

In one of last week's blog entries I mentioned that I was very shy when I was younger. I was very introverted and introspective. There were many things that I would've love to have done that might've alleviated some of the shyness (ballet, Girl Scouts, baton lessons), but my parents couldn't afford any of those things. Instead, books are where I had my adventures. I remember reading a biography about Juliette Gordon Low, the founder of the Girl Scouts. If I couldn't be a Girl Scout, at least I could learn their origins.

Of course I would talk to my friends when we were together, but for the most part I was that skinny little girl with the big eyes who never said much. If we ever had to do class projects I always volunteered to take notes or write up the report. This was how I acted in school, but around my immediate family I was a motormouth. If I knew you well, I'd talk to you without hesitation.

I think my shyness was brought on by being in such a different environment than my family's home. I also think my lack of self-confidence was a big factor. Once in second grade we were playing Twister on a rainy day, and the teacher called out a move that would've been hard for me to achieve. I remember saying to her "I can't do it." Of course she encouraged me and said I could, but I didn't believe that I could. I always wanted to do things right, so I figured if I couldn't do it right, I shouldn't try at all. On either my next progress report or my next report card my second grade teacher made a notation that I needed to work on my self-confidence.