Pretty Isn't All You Are

The media bombards us with images of women that trade on their looks. When young girls see this they figure that the only way they're going to get anywhere in life is by looking pretty. Every time I see a story about that 17 year old girl who married that 51 year old actor (at her mother's urging), I'm like "For real?" Now that the two of them are married she spends her time posting provocative pictures of herself on Face Book in low-cut tops and short shorts. Cleavage abounds up top and down below. If that's the way this mother wants her child to live her life, then that's fine. Those escapades don't need to be laid out for public consumption.

Of course one of the biggest pop culture headlines of the moment has to do with Kim Kardashian's 72 day marriage. The backlash is monumental. During a period in our economic history when a large part of the population can't keep their homes and there's a man trying to rob Burger King with a sock http://consumerist.com/2011/11/man-tries-to-rob-burger-king-with-a-sock.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter, the last thing this world needed was the gross display of conspicuous consumption that constituted her wedding to Kris Humphries. This isn't the effin' 1980s! To spend all of that money and have all of that hoopla, and then to turn around and say "I'm divorcing him." flies in the face of everything that many people hold dear.

If either of the women that I mentioned above were homely, with no sex appeal, do you think we'd even know anything about their stories? Of course not! The media is teaching our young women that if they want to get anywhere they have to be beautiful and willing to exploit that beauty for all it's worth. In a bid to measure up, eating disorders continue to be on the rise, and bullying seems to be at an all time high.

The only way to completely insulate your daughters against this would be to ban all forms of media from your household. Not only is that drastic, it's nearly impossible. A more effective way to combat these harmful messages is to sit your girls down and talk to them. Let them know that looks fade. Unless they're willing to spend their whole lives chasing youth (which I consider a waste of a good life), there's always going to be someone younger and prettier. If a woman doesn't base who and what she is on her looks, that's not going to matter to her. There's a whole world out there that needs fixing. Women have the intuition, listening skills, and nurturing nature to bring this world back around to what it needs to be. There's no law that says we can't look good while we're doing it, but let's not make looking good our sole purpose in life.

What Do You Really See When You Look at Someone?

Last week a co-worker and I were having a conversation about the guy who delivers our coffee. I told her that he hit on one of the ladies in the office next door, and her response was "She's not very pretty". I found that to be an interesting statement. It's not that the woman in question isn't pretty, it's that she made some unfortunate hair and makeup choices. She was very much stuck in a rut of days gone by with her stringy bleached blond hair and blue eyeshadow with blue eyeliner. I watch a lot of makeover shows so I know how the right clothes, hair and makeup can transform a woman.



Why do we think in extremes? Everything has to be either/or with no room in the middle for a closer look or a change in perspective. How many people have you ever seen who are truly ugly? I mean absolutely grotesque. They look so bad that it almost makes you physically sick to look at them. Go on. Think about it. How many people like that have you seen? Not many, right? Because there are very few people in this world, objectively speaking, that are truly ugly. Just because one person doesn't find someone esthetically pleasing doesn't mean that someone else won't. We're not all drop-dead gorgeous, but there is something about the looks of each of us that others will find appealing. Have you ever met someone who you thought had a really plain face but as soon as they started talking their face became animated and you could see a light that shines from within? Some people can look really scary when their faces are in repose, but as soon as they smile you think to yourself "Wow, he or she has a nice smile!". Think about that the next time you see someone that you don't immediately find to be attractive.