Yes, that's a question that one of my acquaintances posed to another acquaintance of mine. In the beginning this person was really gung-ho about my weigth-loss efforts, but now that I'm hovering around my goal, she's not quite as happy for me. In response to the question, Acquaintance #1 replied, "No. Why, are you jealous?" Of course Acquaintance #2 had to backpedal and was like "No, I'm not jealous!" But you know what? She is, or else she wouldn't have brought it up. This woman is 15 years older than me and is married with 2 children. Our lifestyles are completely and totally different, so there's no reason at all for comparisons.
When people, especially certain types of women, are used to you being a certain way, they can't handle it when you make a change. When I was heavier, I'm sure there were some who perceived me as cute, non-threatening, and in no way competition in any regard. Although I've never considered myself ugly, by any stretch of the imagination, I know that lots of women don't want the "fat chick" to start looking better than them. I'll say right now that I'm not competing with anyone for anything. From Day One this has been for and about me. I didn't want to be another statistic. I have a cousin who had two heart attacks before the age of 30. Although she wasn't heavy, she lived an unhealthy lifestyle.
As women we need to celebrate each others' successes and encourage those around us to strive for better things. When something good happens to a woman that I know, I congratulate her. New, flattering haircut or hairstyle? You look fabulous! Lost some weight? Good for you! Keep up the good work! Bought a new car? Girl, that's fantastic! I know that in life we often want the things that other people have. Guess what? If you really want those things, you can have them, too. It's going to take sacrifice, because we live in the real world, not on TV. Once you're able to get it, the sense of achievement is beyond compare. Instead of tearing people down, build them up. Ask them how they were able to accomplish some particular goal that you're interested in. I can almost guarantee that they put in work to get there.
Congratulations on your weight loss Michelle. It's not an easy thing to accomplish, so you can be proud of yourself and your friends should be proud of you too. (Mario's Mom here)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your weight loss, Michelle. You know, when people say things like "do you think she's too thin?" it's really more about "do you think I look okay or am I fat?"
ReplyDeleteIf you feel good and look good, that's what matters.
Of course that person is jealous! You have demonstrated self control & patience working your way to your goal sensibly.
ReplyDeleteWell done lady and take no notice to the saddo's who want to take the shine off your achievement.
After all it's up to you to decide when you're too thin isn't it?
Spot on!
ReplyDeleteMichelle..... wonderful post. (I know I'm talking behind HH's back, but I think it's okay since it's for the common good). HH has had her ups and downs in the weight department and she had the sad experience of losing the support of a couple of friends when she lost weight... I guess it was jealousy or they just didn't want her to change -- even in a positive direction. HH always says that we should support our friends no matter what.
ReplyDeleteHurray for you, Michelle, ... *nosetaps* and all. You have accomplished great things!!!
Max
You were right on target when you mentioned that some people cannot handle it when a friend suddenly steps up and accomplishes something very positive. I think it's as much about that as it is about you're looking great. I agree with MedusaJ - don't let anyone take the "shine" of your achievement!
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